I am obviously on a goals kick in my writing right now.
I am sitting on my front porch surrounded by pine trees and potted plants (a new obsession, total plant lady millennial stereotype a la this article) in Colorado with the mountains gracing my horizon view and a big belly with our second daughter on the way and a home to call our own.
One of my childhood best friends came to visit a few weeks ago and as she walked up my front porch stairs, she said, 'Wow Jacki, how does it feel to have it all?".
I chuckled and nearly scoffed. What!?
I was in the midst of a weird month with money drama keeping me up at night, scarcity beliefs creating anxiety in my body and adult acne on my skin and unnecessary snap judgements towards my husband. Messy on verge of internal shit show, to say the least.
And her words caught me off guard.
Way off guard.
And those words also caught me deep in the muck of my own bullshit. You know that mental bullshit we craft out of old stories, old dramas and that space where we feel comfortable but not great?
Because damn, she is so right. I have a f*cking beautiful life. Like stellar. You just read about the front porch, mountains and all the plants, come on now. Add a hot husband and babies and I have zero to complain about.
And I start to think about how I got here. What twists, turns, teachers, dreams, goals, big conversations with others and with my own self that had to take place and risks and all the failures and celebrations that got me to this front porch spot.
And I realize that goals are the key for me. I set goals as a way to create the life I want, as a way to ask for what I want of myself, of the World. I dream on vision boards so that I can see it, what could be possible if I stepped out of limiting beliefs and into that dream space of marriage, babies, entrepreneurship, happiness, avocados and dark chocolate are on there, too....
And I know goals get a bad wrap at times. They can create unnecessary pressures, a perfectionist model of thinking or an all too easy way to label ourselves as 'failures'. But honestly, that is our own bullshit creeping in again.
Goals can also create stepping stones, possibility and move us into action towards the life you want.
If you can define and see the why of your goals. THE WHY OF GOALS.
And I realized that in the midst of my downward spiral a couple of months ago, I was sitting on some logistical goals that did not excite me. I was actually in a space where I was somewhat goal-less and rather complacent. And that is okay, some days/months I do not have a clear vision or super great goals.
And yet, the times my goals are clear,
The times that I am pushing myself beyond my comfort zone,
The times I am scaring myself a bit to a life I didn't even know possible - because you know goals are never cookie cutter in how we get there or even in how they actually come to fruition - all the twists and turns and lessons we have to learn to get 'there',
This is when my goals are most alive.
This is when I am most alive.
THIS is when I have it all, even if my bank account is a little scary in a moment, or my health goals might have taken a back seat for a moment or my adult acne is flaring. I am alive. I am moving forward, failing forward, celebrating forward. And I have choice always to set new goals, speak them up (up being to Universe, up being in my mind, up being out of my mouth to people who support me) and live it bold.
What goals are you speaking right now?
I am meddling and crafting a program all about speaking our goals. Just wrapped the first beta test with an incredible group and more to come in July with two more beta offerings.