I speak with a lot of people about goals. It is pretty much 'my thing'. And when asking people about their dreams, their desires, their big goals, we often time run into this exact follow up question:
When? When is that happening?
ON CUE: the eyes widen. Look side to side to avoid my excitement. A bit of the shoulders start to creep up to their ears, a change of position in the chair and this idea of adding a deadline feels like...well, death.
The idea of a date on the dream is too much pressure, a set up for failure or creates anxiety.
I so get it.
I think about this when I was prepping to bring my first child into the World. Her due date was set for Earth Day, April 22. And you know what, I LOVED THAT DATE. I was like oh we can play the 'Earth Angel' song or call her our little 'earth muffin'. How fun. And then, that date came and went and my little girl stayed put.
Mind you, I was ginormous. Uncomfortable. And ready and actually attached to that date, that song and the nickname.
So, as you can imagine, I got mad.
And then the anger turned to disappointment.
And then back to anger.
Similar to that of goals when they do not happen just when you thought they would or as they were placed beautifully on your goal sheet. (Psst, do you have a goal sheet or goal board?
So why place dates? Why even bother?
Well, here is the deal? I found the date creates reality for me. When I share a goal out loud without a date, I feel this pull to 'whenever' or 'someday'. For me, that creates inaction, stagnancy and this notion that I don't really care. This is, of course, personally speaking and how I rock my goal style. This might not be how it feels for you.
However, I have learned that when it comes to my goal style, I need some grit in there to light a sweet fire under my sweet butt. I need a date on there to create action and honestly, to make it feel real.
And, a big AND. There is space for grace when you set the date as a goal, a desired outcome on time. You get to collaborate with TIME. Similar to that of my missed due date, did I give up the goal? Haha, no. That baby was going to come eventually, on her own time. And I feel this way about the goals that really matter, they are going to happen because they call to us, they itch, they keep showing up in our dreams or psyche or 'what if' thoughts. The space for grace is where we can reflect, move the date up or back and see that our life is dynamic, ever changing and not always on the exact time frame we write down.
NOTE: I do say, careful with language like 'it has to be this way OR ELSE'. That 'OR ELSE' can really get us into trouble and actually throw our entire goal sheet out the window.
Let's talk some of my goal examples:
I always set goals in the affirmative present tense with a by when date on there!
I birth our second daughter into this World by May 23, 2018.
I speak the goalSPEAK motivation speak 15 times this year by December 28, 2018.
I sign up for a YIN yoga training workshop by December 25, 2018.
I launch three new creative beta goals programs November 1, 2018.
Ohhhh snap, those dates feel good and real and on purpose and so alive. Am I attached to them, nope. Am I so committed because they feel fun, so me and on purpose, YES! This is where goals come to life for me when I start to visualize how they look, when I speak them out loud and see how they vibrate in my body and specifically my spine.
What are your thoughts on Goals and Grit, add some of that sweet Grace? Can you set a date and start to move towards you goals? Can you be so open, not attached and yet so committed to what you will learn along the way and the grit and grace it takes to get there?
Let me now how it goes, how it feels and what you see!
Goals Alive! XO, Jacki