I know I am only on day two in the world of creating my own way. And while it does feel premature to share how I feel so early in the game, I want you to know. So here is how I feel today in the land of entrepreneurship: 1) I feel like I am moving slow. I am working on a MacBook and I don't know how to left click. I have lost all of my phone contacts, so I scroll through old text messages to find recent conversations to dial. And, I am embarking on a new schedule that I create, so I feel like I have two left feet as I move through the day.
2) I went for a run today at 9:30am with the dog and showered at 10:15am. Because I can.
3) I feel weird knowing that the money I am spending will not be beautifully replenished in exactly 2 weeks times. And by weird, it is a mixture of panic, fear, grace and strategic hustle.
4) I am diving deep into my yoga and coaching practice. I am truly finding that in this large transition, there is an easy slip to being hard on myself or worse, lazy. And you know that ripple effect only feeds into my relationships and how I show up for others. I am leaning on my own self development tools and taking my mind and breath to the mat. It is a full on process and unfolding. I remind myself to stop rushing it, listen closer and feel it more. It is juicy there.
5) Oddly, I find myself being more feminine. I know, this sounds so strange, it does to me, too. But there is a beautiful way in relationships that allow you to ebb and flow with power. I have been wearing my hair down. I have taken the time to cook more. Like look up a recipe and bake something, who? Yes me. It is fun to explore when you choose to create space in your life to try on something brand new.
6) There is a real sense of presence available. I mean, I wake up and realize I am truly my own boss that sets my own schedule. And with that sense of freedom in creation, there are a lot of questions that come up. What do I want to be doing every single day? How am I going to thrive? What is my contribution? How do I want to feel? So many questions that I sit and ponder and feel and create. And I thought it would feel distracting or overwhelming, but in all honesty, it feels like being present. In my face, truthbombs, get real, rock your goals presence. Okay, maybe a little overwhelming.
7) Yes, I am still scared. If you were wondering. Nothing feels set in stone or super stable. And at the end of the day, does it really ever? And then I pause when I read that I just wrote that. Because there are so many things that are solid and stable, like my relationship, my family, my friendships, my health and collaborations with gamechangers. So see, just like that, I can create a whole story around one domain of my life (cough career cough) OR I can get real, get holistic and choose to continue moving forward. There I am.
8) I do feel so radically supported. My friends threw me a "Jacki Took Life by the Balls" Party last weekend. And then other friends are sending ideas and brainstorms to support me. Another friend is rocking website support and another one is offering video services. One of my friends sold me said MacBook to get me up and running. People helping people! Truly overwhelmed with gratitude and love to a point that I know I am on the right path, rocking it and surrounded with people holding me to the highest potential.
9) Now is the time to write down new goals. With big shift comes gnarly perspective. I am excited to take pen to paper and map out a gameplan thriving with success, crazy adventures in love and intention. I will share them with you soon.
10) FInally, I have to get out of my house. I get a little stir crazy up in here already, so if you live near Venice, CA and are looking to pow wow, holler at this entrepreneur ASAP.
And here I am in this moment. Today, day two. Here I am.