Life On the Rock Wall

He put his arm around me and said, "I like when we are learning something new together.  I get to see the vulnerable side of you, I get to coach and help.  You are so strong all the time". I heard this loud and clear from my sweet and ever-patient boyfriend, as we left our first basics class from the rock climbing gym we joined together.  He was high off of the experience.  He is such a naturally talented athlete and almost any physical activity comes easy to him.  Snowboarding, rock climbing, hiking.  And, he is extremely patient.

I, on the other hand, am easily frustrated and uber impatient.  I am athletic, as well.  However, my firey-hot ego can get in the way of natural talent and the ability to be a learner.  #confession

I want to be the best vs. do my best.  There, I said it.  And I know, that sounds nasty.  Truth is ugly, some times.

I realize that I have two options here.  I can actually rock a perspective shift the next time we step into the harnesses and climb together.  I can be okay to fall, fail and try again.  I can be a learner, a listener, and ask for help.  Or option two:  I can be annoyed with myself and impatient with the process.  I can keep up with the whole 'I can do it myself' mentality and give up and pout.  What am I, an 8 year old?

I say, option one is the winner.

Relationships are a beast when the ego rolls right in.  And wow, rock climbing is a large mirror to how I have been acting lately.  I can do it myself, I don't need help, I don't want to be vulnerable in front of you.

And relationships are magic when you can learn from one another.  You can create something together.  You can listen, listen, listen when you cannot find that space on the rock to put your left leg.  You can lean in and grow (up).

I live for the magic.  Thus, it is my turn to be open and more vulnerable.  My turn to be more gentle with myself and less firey-hot with the ego when approaching new challenges, on and off the rock wall.  Yes, I am actually okay to fall, fail and try again.  I want to grow together, well, and grow up, and listen to my ever-patient boyfriend.

On Belay.  Belay On.  Let's climb.

Where in your life have you been acting like an 8 year old?  Look deeper in there.

I say with love + patience to myself before I jump on that rock wall next time and I say with love + patience to you, lean in, listen and grow up.

Climb on.