My friend Leigh picked me up in a powder blue Prius. She had her hair curled and sunglasses on. I jumped in, realized I had forgotten something in the apartment, jumped out, ran, retrieved, jumped back in, buckled up and then we were on our way to a wine tasting in Malibu. Rough life, I know. Traffic was terrible, I mean awful and we were already late. We began chatting relationships, friendships, choice and complaint. And then, we turned on the radio. And oh my, did we start to sing out loud. Way out loud.
Note, my friend Leigh is an incredibly talented performer and has an insane singing voice. Another Note, I just might be tone-deaf.
So we start singing. A song would come on we did not know, track button, change station until we found a radio jam that we could keep up with. Then we started dancing. Yes, it was frightening while Leigh was driving but we could not stop. Sing, dance, laugh, repeat. And for this moment in time, I felt really, really free.
I felt light and fun. I thought to myself, "I have felt this before, this abandonment of inhibitions and full on fun-ness". I actually felt really drunk .... on the music, the release of breathe that comes when belting out a song and the movement of my body, even while constrained within a seat belt. My face felt good smiling for over 56 minutes straight in standstill traffic. And, my shoulders fell down as the windows rolled down. I felt so effing free.
When was the last time you felt really free?
Free of stress from the day-to-day routine. Free from the to do list and the unanswered emails. Free from the self-criticism and judgement. Free from the puppy that needs to pee (again) and the upcoming dentist appointment and that stranger who hit my side view mirror and left no note. Free from the responsibilities and plans and bills and questioning how often should I turn on my AC unit.
It was a fleeting moment, of course, life is funny that way. To be clear and rock some double negatives: I would never not want those emails or that crying puppy who wakes me up at exactly 7:12am every morning. I would never not want the to do list that keeps me on track and the responsibilities of this rad, full life I have created. And who cares about the car and the AC, really?
For a moment though, in that blue Prius with my friend, Leigh, I chose to feel that. Freedom.
And as I wonder how, or question why that freedom happened and try to find a reason.... Was it a magical power Leigh has? Do we both not have any Earth in our astrological chart, thus we float way up into never-never land so easy and feel so light together? (Yep, I went there). Was it me, did I get just the right amount of sleep last night? What coffee was that this morning, caf or decaf? Is Country music really that great to sing to in traffic?
Perhaps, all of the above. Maybe there is no how or why, it just was. How is that for freedom?
I have a poster in my office that is framed above my desk that reads: "Freedom is Something you Take".
And I am reminded to cultivate freedom. More. Honestly, way more.
So it is actually something I can take. More. Way more.
I ask you again, when was the last time you felt really free?