A Monthly Review: April 2016

Each month I have a ritual of clearing out the bullshit that might have been my previous month, celebrating all the good stuff (a must) and then I create a space for the new month with three new words and goals to set my sails on a conscious course.  I find it to be an intentional practice that creates a checks & balances type system, hello accountability and personal responsibility.

So, here we go, first (cough, second) of the month, wake up, get up…

The two things I’m most celebrating from April are:

1) The birth of my daughter, sweet Evergreen Marie Hynes. Making her debut on April 26, 2016, this child is the most beautiful creation I have ever seen and I feel honored, proud and whoa, so tired. 

2) I must celebrate my husband, Chris. Going through (an all natural) labor & delivery was the most intense experience of my life and he was a true champion, a coach, my best friend and so strong. I literally held on to his neck for dear life as we brought a new life into this World, together. I am still in utter awe of the true mind-body-soul shock that is creating a human and the connection I felt and continue to feel with my ever-growing marriage. 

The two things I’m most grateful for from April are:

1) I lead igolu Level 1 groups monthly with amazing human beings, mostly women. We come together weekly to explore our legacy, vision, goals and powerful language in a 4 week course and we go deep, every single time. I am so grateful for the women that invest in themselves, commit to the journey and open up on each call connection. My April group was a beautiful mixture of women ready to rock, honored to lead the work.

2) I am grateful for my body and all the miracles it can manifest. I went past my delivery due date and my body held strong, creating a home and space for our little one. My mind, on the other hand, different story. So grateful for a body that stayed grounded and connected. 

Anything to release or let go of from April, speak now: I am letting of creating from a space of lack or scarcity. I find this to be a pattern and perhaps I will write it each month it rears its gnarly head. A great podcast if this seems to be a pattern you lean on is here from Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School. 

The lesson I learned and am carrying forward with me from April is: Oh goodness me, patience patience patience. Everyone told me having a child would teach me patience. And yet, i had not even had her yet and she was was schooling me. From being past my due date, the love that is labor and pushing and watching her grow second by second, the patience is real and I feel so different exploring it. Like I am meeting a new version of myself for the first time, how cool. 

My intention word(s) for May is/are: PRESENT. And if I could switch it up from words to song, I will choose Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds". 

One thing I aim to do every day in May is: give myself permission to cry. I often try to hide my emotions, even from myself. In committing to being present, I cannot hide my feelings or block them. This month is about feeling all the feelings and being open about them.

Because I am brave, here are two new/scary things I will do in May: 

1) Not work. I know, that sounds weird. But I love to work and be productive. I have made a promise to take the month of May off and slow it way down, look into my daughter's eyes, spend time with visiting family and really create space for self care. It matters. 

2) Honestly, becoming a Mom is scary as shit. I have never used the flashlight button on my iPhone so many times in one night to check to see my daughter's face, is she breathing, is she happy? So I am bravely stepping into this Mamahood identity and being totally aware that every single day might look/feel/be different. 

The one book I definitely want to read in May is: Susan Cain's, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking. We are reading this for my Novel Grapes online book club I lead on Facebook, join in here.

Just for fun, I will… explore writing a creative short story. Start to finish. 

As an act of intentional kindness, I will… soften my language towards my recovering body. I will look in the mirror, remind myself that I created life, see the changes every day and celebrate the body again and again and again. Allowing myself to heal in my own time, not in comparison to others - this is intentional kindness ... to myself. 

Your turn, explore your monthly review and get intentional with your month of May.

Happy May to you and you and you!

Love, Jacki 

Jacki Carr