I have been at a loss for words at how sweet life is. I sit down to write and instead of words, I close my eyes and smile at all the visions of days past. That is sweet living right there. Last week was a big birthday as I turned 30. On this same day, I also got a beautiful diamond ring on my newly manicured finger and I became a fiance. I am engaged!
My then boyfriend had the entire day planned from waking me up at midnight to give me my first present to a 7am wake up call with a huge Happy Birthday balloon and an old school meets new school Polaroid camera to capture my big day of the 3-0 accompanied with a new Nelson Mandela book to add to my bookshelf. I have pics of breakfast with friends, Chris getting his first pedicure, my favorite juice shop, and a shopping spree with one of my best and uber stylish friends.
I also have seven polaroid prints at the place of our very first date spot in Malibu of the moment that my man turned fiance, Chris Hynes got down on one knee, presented me with a ring and asked me to be his forever. And I, with the utmost joy through tears and laughter, said YES!
Now, let me tell you something about the how. Over six years ago, Chris came to visit me for the first time from Chicago to LA. We had remained friends after college and kept in contact on and off through friend visits and Gmail chat. On this first weekend visit, Chris and I were playing it cool, nothing serious. He literally had to force me to allow him to take me to dinner, I was nervous about expectations and titles and young and confused...blah blah blah. So I finally gave in and we drove out to Malibu to this sweet spot called Dukes. Hawaiian inspired, chill and delicious. I remember what I was wearing, jeans with these gnarly purple UGG style boots, a blue quarter length long sleeve and my hair was down. What I truly remember from dinner was about an hour into our meal, I had to get up and go to the ladies room. I stood up and something released in me and I let my guard down, my ego dissolved and I got really present, I shuffled over to Chris' side of the table and gave him a sweet kiss before departing. That moment, that kiss, there was a shift in both of us. I know I shocked him, as it was probably our first kiss in public, announcing to the World that this is happening on so many levels, people! And when I came to, I really did not know what had come over me. I came back from the restroom to my seat and he was smiling and told me that he loved that kiss. And I smiled and said I loved it, too.
Mind you, it was still another two years until we really started dating. But that was the spark. A spark of many sparks that led to many more visits, trillions more kisses, life moves, life challenges and getting real to where we are now on cloud nine that is being fiances.
And one note to share, even though I have known Chris for years, love him madly, share a sweet apartment and we co-parent a rescue pup together, it does feel different to be engaged. I was not sure it would and it really does. I feel a wave of calm and connection within myself that I have never experienced before. It is internal and evolving. Although his drop to one knee and the hell yes voice that sprung from my body that evening was quick, exciting and so joyous, the decision feels massive in a beautiful way, powerful in a responsible way and adventurous in a compassionate and loving way. All at the same time.
To some it may seem silly that a piece of jewelry can mean that. And to me, it feels so radical, powerful and magical because I want it to and I give it permission to mean that to me, to us. I declare to the World that he is my forever.
Let's rock the World together, Chris Hynes!
I am gushing, I know. And you know, I will continue to do so. For the rest of my life.