How to Know You Flew Off the Handle
Six simple steps to know you are out of control and should probably not be around human beings or beloved pets, here I go: 1) "Hanger". You are so hungry that your stomach has actually taken over all working parts of your conscious thought and everyone and/or thing in its way will feel the wrath of this anger.
2) The good ol' huff and puff. Big sighs, almost too loud, forced and erratic. Like you really want the other person to hear how frustrated you are, so you huff it and you puff it. You mimic the loud breather in yoga but way worse as you are absolutely the opposite of getting aligned and finding your bliss.
3) The scowl face. I know exactly how it feels on my face. Furrowed brow, some gnarly teeth grit that probably brings on a ferocious under bite and my right eye squints a little bit more than my left. This look might kill. Watch out.
4) The tantrum exit. The 5-year-old stomp off of a departure that immediately kills any chance of communication. Add the door slam and yes ma'am, you are off the handle.
5) Dropping F bombs to feel more mad. They are only funny in a funny conversations. They are NEVER funny in a heated conversation. Ever. Noted.
6) The worst of all handles flown, the silent treatment. Oh no, I am not talking this out or showing any emotion. You will get not a word out of me and I shall wallow in anger for however long I want. I hear nothing. I only feel the draft of ridiculous reaction coming from my cold shoulder, do you?
Note to future self: For the love of human connection and communication, pack a snack, don't storm off, don't scowl and do not lose your sanity with profanity. Open your mouth and talk it out.
Borrow if needed.