On Past Experiences and (actually) Not Letting Go
And for so many reasons, I do love what it says and chat often with my clients about the past in our 1:1 sessions. The likes of letting go to move forward, breaking old and sticky patterns. Seeing new possibilities so you actually do not keep creating and re-creating the past that doesn't serve you now or your future later.
However, I like to play devil's advocate with myself. And I sit here today and wonder if our past experiences actually create an understanding of what we do want and what we do not want? Does our past actually allow us choice and guidance versus this total letting go, anti-past-ism we are creating?
Give it a think.
For example, when I am in a funk, and oh man, you do not want to be around me when I am in a funk. I am reactive with an edgy tone, one word answers and you can almost feel the heat inside me. I know this about myself, and well, my fiance knows it all too well as I growled at him last night to stop interrupting my work flow. Chill out already, Carr.
I am aware this is not me on top of my game and I am human and a new entrepreneur, so the funks occur (often). And what I also am aware of is how to shift out of these funks, whether it be in 5 seconds or 5 days. I have go-to shifters that allow me to get real and get clear. Such as: the in your face clarity that comes from the quiet and inner reflection in a 90 minute yoga flow, the sweat and push that happens on a run by the Ocean, the square breath which includes calculated inhales and exhales that bring you beyond your distraction and way into the present moment, a big hike with no cell service, or lastly the rad-ness that is MJ's Man in the Mirror.
When we can create choices to shift beyond the funk, we create the ability to show up for ourselves and others.
Now, here is my point to (finally) bring us back to my first issue about past experiences. How do I know that these practices, be it yoga, run, breath, hike or song can actually shift me. How do I know they work? Well, obviously, they have worked before and have become part of my life practice to rock my joy. Granting a beautiful nod to the past that actually triggers a feeling that has already occurred.
So I am saying: Do look to the past, there are some things that can rock your presence.
Now, where this gets tricky is this. A couple weeks ago, I was basically in the funkiest of funk town. I am talking wake up nasty, go to bed annoyed. And I could not shake it. Yoga mat, nothing. Run, legs felt like concrete. Breath was more of an annoyance. Hike, you feel too far away. And MJ, you were a momentary joy jolt for about 3 minutes, thats all. Thanks for nothing. So my tried and true were failing. What now?
I'll tell you what now, I was sitting on the couch of funk and looked up at Chris and blatantly asked him, do you want to go on a trail run? It was 3pm in the middle of a workday, and for some reason, he laced up his shoes and said yes. I do love the mountains and as you know, running is a great check in, so why not combine them and kick my own ass. So, we head to rock the mountains. And oh my word, the mountains rocked me. We started to run and we got to the base of the incline to only see up and up and up. I felt great in the beginning, however, as I had not run a trail in over 6 years, that there beginner's high was fleeting. In a moment's notice, I was basically shuffling up that mountain, hunched over, breath burning my lungs and heart beating with what felt like my ears must have been rattling. I was huffing and puffing and oh boy, did my ego want to remind me that I suck. Chris and I paused to look at one another and voice how hard it was. A couple walked by and cheered us on, that was nice. And my heart, wow my heart was beating so hard. Harder than I have felt it beat in a really long time. Like a reminder that I felt out of shape OR that I am alive. I chose to see and feel the latter. And with that radiating reminder, I got it. I got that I was alive, my heart was beating and I have the choice to show up or funk it out. My choice, all me.
So my new poster in life reads as follows:
Do look back and know what brings you joy. There is good stuff back there. And if that does not work, if that no longer shakes the funk, look to try something new and feel your heart beat. You are alive. Now.
Funk shifted. Past appreciated. Present rocked.