Project Inspiration: the boyfriend, Chris Hynes

As I dig deep and look into who I really am, I look into who I invest my time with and how they have moved me in what I have called Project Inspiration. I wanted to take this time to tell you how my boyfriend, Chris Hynes has inspired me and been a part of my life evolution.  He is the make-my-heart-beat-faster-life-adventure-personal-iron-chef-always-says-i-love-you-caring-strong-family-loving-very-sexy-stand-for-greatness-slow-down-to-enjoy-life boyfriend in my life.

And he is the one that inspired me to embark upon this adventure that is Project Inspiration. 

We were sitting at Starbucks.   I was feeling so lost.  I had this strange feeling of not being enough and there was this large gray cumulus cloud parked right over my head.  How that ugly cloud got there and pulled the parking brake to a heavy hault, I do not know.  So, Chris looked at me over his homework and then took the time and closed the computer.  He said to me, "take your pen and write down all the names of people that have inspired you, shaped who you are and that you are thankful for".  So, I began to list them out one by one - he reminded me of a few.  And then he told me, "tell them why, maybe it will show you the way"....

Dear Chris Hynes,

I love our love story.  From meeting you our first year in college in the dorms to emails from Australia, to post-college long distance friendships lasting over gchat, to carefully selected mix tapes, a surprise “I love you” bomb to a surprise long distance relationship and to a surprise “I am moving there to be with you and this is happening” into a no surpirse...amazing life adventure together. 

I love you. 

I love you. 

I love you.

What I wanted to let you know, Chris, is that who you are has and continues to shape who I am every single day.

You. Inspire. Me.  You literally create your life every single day.  From going back to school for a dream job and your dream life, to riding the crazy rollercoaster that has been our love adventure, to the recent plunge to California and for taking a sturdy and strong stand for your "best life".  I look to you for that reminder to keep creating mine – even when it might be scary, even when it might take sharp turns or fast drops, cross country moves and even when it seems impossible – you are my possible.  Thank you for being that stand for you and for me.

Even though I argue and pompously shout from the rooftops that I said “I love you” first – it was truly you who said it first.  Maybe not out loud or even with your own words…but you said it first.  Be it a mix tape with love songs, a plane ticket to see about a girl or never giving up on my interesting ways; thank you for loving me and not being scared to show it first.  Your ability to be vulnerable has inspired me to be more emotional, more compassionate and more open to you, to others and to myself.

Chris, you are my restart button, my feet on solid ground, my moment to breathe. I believe my ways as an achiever and to do lister, wear whatever I want, follow the rules type, be great and goal set are what make me radical and what make me crazy.   But life gets funny when you become a ‘we’; your life shifts in the most beautiful way, if you allow it.  Thank you for the earthquake of a shift you have been in my life and for the always available restart button, fresh inhale and being my someone to lean on.  I am so grateful for who you are.

And finally, I just love you because.  And that is it, simple and confusing, small and big, cool and nerdy.   I don’t have the right answer all the time, or the why behind everything, or the aggressive plan of attack – I just love you because I absolutely, definitely love you. 

Chris, you are nothing short of my everything.    You inspire me every single day.  Thank you for showing me the way.

I love you.

As you continue to rock in this life, keep being who you are. And I promise that I will do the same.

Your inspired girlfriend,