Yes and No
My man looked at me with his big blue eyes and team shirt on and asked if I was going to watch the big playoff game with him. As much as I love that face, I had to say no, not this time. I told him I was going to a sweaty yoga class instead and I wanted to start my week off healthy. He sulked for a matter of 22 seconds and then he got it. He rushed out the door to meet his dude friends. Wow, was it that easy? I totally thought I was going to let him down. Off to yoga I go.
Lately, our schedule has been jam-packed. For some reason, I thought I owned our social calendar. However, after leaving town for most of May, I come home to my man making all these plans. Don't get me wrong, I have had an absolute blast with him and our incredible friends and I actually enjoy him taking the reigns on the calendar. And to be really real, I am tired, my jeans are a wee bit tight and I need a minute to catch up on me. To catch up on the Jacki of Jacki & Chris. You feel me?
Relationships are so interesting. There is communication, compromise and constant connection. You can wake up one day having the most amazing morning and then that same afternoon is a crazy shit storm. It is hilarious and such a course in life I could have never prepared for. It is so in-your-face present.
And what I have learned is that you have to be able to say 'yes' and be able to say 'no'.
I know I love spending time with Chris and our friends at a bar with sports blaring from the multiple TVs and perhaps an order of chicken wings and a cold one, and I really, really do; I also know that I love time to write, hike, time to sweat, time to drink some delicious juice or red wine. From chicken wings & beer to sweaty yoga & juice, it just sounds funny. And it sounds fun. I want time for all of that!
And I remind myself: you, my friend, you get to pick what you want to do and how to make it all fit, those red jeans included. Find balance in the yes and no. Find quality time together with Chris, your rad friends and that cute dog AND also make space for quality time with you. (Note: This is how I talk to myself).
How I check in is to pay a visit to my goals, I check in with my energy levels and get real on what I need to rock, and I cross reference this said social calendar with my life JOY list. Is there goal coaching in there, hiking, wine with friends, alone time, a bubble bath?
Know that you might go off balance one week, but before you get lost in the shuffle of a social/work/relationship/life calendar the next week, take a minute to check in, ask yourself where you can rock the yes or rock the no and then be all in.